2020年海淀高三一模英语作文写作思路分析及参考范文

2020-05-22 10:40|编辑: 张老师|阅读: 460

摘要

2020年海淀高三一模英语书面表达小作文要求写一封邮件，大作文需要根据漫画写一篇英文周记，记叙确定大学志愿的过程，同学们该如何下手写作呢？一起来看详细内容！

5月6日，海淀区2020年高三一模考试举行。今年，海淀高三一模英语作文考察了什么内容？考生该如何作答？北京高考在线团队整理海淀高三一模英语作文分析，供各位考生参考！

2020年海淀高三一模英语第三部分：书面表达（共两节，35分）

第一节（15分）

51.假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。你的美国朋友Jim得知你对探月感兴趣，发来邮件和你讨论该话题。请你给他回复邮件，内容包括：

1.月亮在中国文化中的寓意；

2.你对人类探月活动的看法。

注意：1.词数不少于50；

2.开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。提示词：探月moon exploration

Dear Jim,

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

Li Hua

本篇作文是一篇介绍信，内容要求针对美国好友关于“探月”的讨论做出回复。体现了“以情景任务为重要依托，以语言能力为主要推动力，以学以致用为直接导向，以核心素养为最终目标”的命题理念。

首段需体现交际感，对于通信好友可表达问候，得知其对于探月的兴趣并积极予以回复；中间围绕要点进行展开，说明月亮在中国文化中的寓意，阐明自己对于人类探月活动的看法；结尾期待对方反馈，表达希望和对方进一步讨论等。

除了基本的内容要点之外，还需要学生开放性的构思，结合实际生活经验进行要点的延伸。建议考生平时加强构思训练，掌握应用文写作的层次，以合理的逻辑和结构完成写作。语言方面，建议选择实用的词汇，做到准确简洁。

【参考范文】

Dear Jim,

I am glad to share with you more details about my passion for moon exploration.

It started with what I had been told about the moon as a kid and grew stronger with time. As you can guess, there is rich cultural meaning behind the faithful companion of the earth. In Chinese culture, as opposed to the masculinity of the sun, the moon is often compared to a quiet and elegant lady. Also, it reminds people of their family and friends far away. People feel reassured knowing that they are watching the same moon as if the moon could serve as their messenger.

Human beings have never stopped exploring our closest neighbor. I believe it is of great significance. The development of relevant technology facilitates the progress of science in general, which benefits our everyday life. What’s more, I think moon exploration shows an important human trait, that is, curiosity about the unknown, which is the driving force that has brought our species this far.

I hope you find what I’ve mentioned above interesting and reasonable. By the way, what do you think of when you gaze at the moon? Write back and tell me about it!

Yours,

Li Hua

本篇书面表达属于应用文（介绍信）。要求考生写一封信给美国朋友Jim，和Jim探讨有关探月的话题。

【详解】第一步：审题

体裁：应用文；时态：根据提示，时态应为一般现在时；人称：第一人称为主

结构：总分法

总分法指把主题句作为总说，把支持句作为分说，并以这种方式安排所写内容。

要求：1.月亮在中国文化中的寓意；

2.你对人类探月活动的看法。

第二步:列提纲（重点词组）

moon exploration；be compared to；remind sb. of sb./sth.；as if；serve as；gaze at

第三步：连词成句

1. I am glad to share with you more details about my passion for moon exploration.

2. the moon is often compared to a quiet and elegant lady.

3. Also, it reminds people of their family and friends far away.

4. People feel reassured knowing that they are watching the same moon as if the moon could serve as their messenger.

5. By the way, what do you think of when you gaze at the moon?

（根据提示及关键词（组）进行遣词造句，注意主谓一致和时态问题。）

第四步：连句成篇（衔接词）

1.表文章结构顺序：First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At last, Last but not least

2.表并列补充关系：What is more, Besides, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition, As well as, not only…but （also）, including, also

3.表转折对比关系：However, On the contrary, but, Although + clause（从句）, In spite of + n/doing, On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…

4.表因果关系：Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result

5表换一种方式表达：In other words, that is to say,

6.表进行举例说明：For example; For instance; such as + n/doing

7.表陈述事实：In fact, frankly speaking

8.表选择：either…or…，or

连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰。

第五步：润色修改

范文内容完整，结构严谨，要点全面，语言规范，语篇连贯，词数适当，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中使用了主从复合句，如It started with what I had been told about the moon as a kid这句话中用了what引导的宾语从句，如which is the driving force that has brought our species this far中用了which引导的非限制性定语从句；使用了非常好的短语，如be compared to，remind sb. of sb./sth.，serve as，gaze at等，为文章增色不少；并注意了句子的衔接，如Also，What’s more，By the way。全文中没有中国式英语的句式，显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外，文章思路清晰、层次分明，上下句转换自然，为文章增色添彩。

第二节（20分）

52.假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。请根据下面四幅图的先后顺序，写一篇英文周记，记述你确定大学志愿的过程。

注意：词数不少于60。

今年海淀一模主要以确定大学志愿为主题，既贴合考生们的日常生活，又紧跟当下热点：新时代青年要担当时代责任。

四幅图的要点分别是“讨论大学专业”，“在网上查询信息”，“观看新闻联播：时代担当”，“决定大学志愿”。

考生首先要注意审图，切忌审错、审漏图内的要点和细节；

第二，在保证要点齐全的前提下,适当添加细节，注意情节的连贯性，同时关注文章开篇概括内容、结尾主题升华。

第三，文章中要体现句式的多样性、以及用词的准确性和丰富性。

在适当增加长难句时，需要对非谓语动词、三大从句及特殊句式进行灵活运用。另外，写完之后要注意检查，避免低级语法错误和单词拼写错误。

【答案】The past week was by no means ordinary, for I had finally decided on my major.

This Monday, the topic was brought up again by my parents during dinner. I had asked myself the same question many times, but still couldn’t make up my mind. Seeing my hesitant look, mom patted me on my shoulder, her smile encouraging me to do more research.

Later that evening, I turned to the Internet for help. Faced with so many choices, I seemed to be lost. Law could be a good choice. Business and computer science were also attracting top students. I noted down one after another major, but crossed them all off, for what I wanted was a profession that could make a difference in people’s lives.

The inspiration came unexpectedly with the CCTV News yesterday. The moment “Role Models of Our Time” appeared on the screen, I was awed. The news story focused on superheroes without a cape — police officers, healthcare workers, delivery men, city cleaners — who guarded us and ensured our life ran normally. Suddenly, I realized my life’s purpose — relieving pain and saving lives. And to pursue this call, I decided to specialize in medical science.

I jumped excitedly at this idea. Mom and dad were also happy that I had found the compass for my future life, and said they would be so proud to see me in white. Now, determined to become a healthcare worker, whenever I start my schoolwork, I know I am studying for a noble cause.

本篇书面表达属于应用文。要求考生根据所给的四幅图写一篇周记，记述自己确定大学志愿的过程。

第一步：审题；体裁：应用文；时态：根据提示，时态应为一般过去时；人称：第一人称为主

结构：总分总法

总分总法指把主题句作为总说，把支持句作为分说，结尾再重申一下自己的主题，并以这种方式安排所写内容。

要求：1.挖掘四幅图所给出的信息：图1——和父母讨论大学志愿选什么，图2——自己网上查找大学志愿资料，图3——看电视新闻给自己选大学志愿的启发，图4——确定了自己的大学志愿；

2.自己确定大学志愿过程中的感悟。

第二步:列提纲（重点词组）

by no means；make up one’s mind；encourage sb.to do sth.；turn to…for help；make a difference；focus on

第三步：连词成句

1. The past week was by no means ordinary, for I had finally decided on my major.

2. I had asked myself the same question many times, but still couldn’t make up my mind.

3. Seeing my hesitant look, mom patted me on my shoulder, her smile encouraging me to do more research.

4. Later that evening, I turned to the Internet for help.

5. for what I wanted was a profession that could make a difference in people’s lives.

6. The news story focused on superheroes without a cape.